4 days ago
I wanna apologise to everyone who has been telling me day after day, week after week to get out of this toxic relationship, while I just wouldn't listen. I wanna apologise to everyone who I called or texted at late hours after going completely mental over silence, confusion and being treated over and over again like a doormat. You were right, I was wrong. I will never have to wait again for someone who doesn't value my patience. And you were all asking me, "why are you doing this to yourself?" I have no idea. Every day the last four weeks I just repeated how much I hate him. In my head was always so much hate, so much anger and frustration. I hated him and I hated myself for staying. There is no love when you have BPD, only the crushing fear of loneliness. And then I remember that the best years of my life I've spent single. Also I am someone who is so incapable of telling lies, it's ridiculous, I realise how many lies I was fed and this person is about to devote their life to living a scam. All this time, he was the actual fake 😁
I have self-respect, even if I need a lot of support for reminding myself that I deserve to be treated with dignity.